3 Simple Steps to Help Fight the Blahs

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At one point in my healership I was meeting regularly with a group of other practitioners to hone our skills. We worked on things like holding space with integrity and healing ourselves so that we could be better for others. For a while I’d start almost every weekly group meeting with my usual check in of “I’m so tired. I work too many jobs. The kids always need something. My husband doesn’t help me. I’m broke. Blah, blah, blah.” My mentor would listen patiently and then say, “You need to put your oxygen mask on first.”

When she first told me this I was annoyed. ‘What do you mean put my oxygen mask on first?’ I’d think to myself. ‘There are so many people around me who need me. The kids need me. My husband needs me. My mother needs me. The house needs me. When the hell do I have time to have needs?’ Which is exactly why she was telling me this. If I waited until everyone else’s needs were met I’d never take care of my own. Also, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” These are well known sayings because they’re true! My mentor taught me to take small, and easy steps towards taking care of myself first so that I could show up fully in my life and for the people I care about.

If you feel overwhelmed by life, or burdened occasionally, or run down, overworked, lackluster, fill in the blank with your own special feeling of blah, then it’s time to put your oxygen mask on first. How do you do this you ask? Here are three simple steps you can take to feel better fast:

Step 1- Make a list of what makes you happy. What brings joy to your life? What do you love to do? What makes you feel excited? Make sure you have some simple, easily doable things on this list.

Step 2- Put the list in your phone. Or tape it to the wall next to your bed. Or laminate it and put it in your wallet. Keep it somewhere handy where you can find it easily.

Step 3- Schedule it. This one you’ll want to skip. You’ll think, ‘Why do I need to schedule things that make me happy? I’m sure to do them now that I know what they are.’ Believe me here, you won’t. You’ve got to schedule you first or your needs will take a backseat to everything else. Why would you allow your happiness to take a backseat to the laundry? Because the laundry is sitting there looking at you and your needs are hiding in the closet. Schedule it.

My list looks like this…

Things that make me happy:

  • Being in nature

  • Moving my body

  • Dancing

  • Yoga

  • Being with good friends

  • Surfing

Whenever you feel blah take out your list. Choose anything on that list and put it in your calendar and really do it. It’s amazing how different your problems will look after you’ve done a simple act just for you.

With love and appreciation for you and all you do,


Carrie DeVaneyComment